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Cocker Spatula

by Rubber Spaniel

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1.
Elevator pitch: what if problems don’t exist? write each worry on a list you can read buh- you can read between read between, oh. Dance your life away legal case in disarray chew on something good to say never tell a- don’t speak a word don’t you say a thing! Way to celebrate, eat a half a birthday cake took your keys out of the vase no one lives there- lives there now Strain to stay awake, walk around without a face witnesses will say that they saw you standing- you stood right there Gamble out debt dig a hole and pitch a tent choose the one that represents the way you- way you feel the way you feel
2.
Midtones 03:48
I’d kinda like it if you stayed I’m trying to say why don’t you make yourself at home here, hunker down for a moment, put your feet up and let your hair down for once? but I don’t know even know your name oh, I just see the way you’re looking all around you, memorizing faces like you’re trying to wear them, just Behave, behave, Behave, behave. You work so hard for your family you just scrape by to survive you carved out your little corner just outside our life it never occurs to you maybe we just look the other way you don’t understand what I’m saying but you read my face Let’s not mince words you’re afraid you’re looking for a face to call your own but you wouldn’t know what to do if you got one I kinda like it when you fail blustering like you got something important to say, but you’re just making yourself look foolish Oh, fancy meeting you here for a piss round quarter to five a novel idea that I had that you copied off me we’re crossing paths maybe too often now feel you elbowing in on me won’t be replaced in my own house, but we like having company Behave, behave, stay out my way. Behave, behave, stay out of my way Behave, behave, things go my way.
3.
You seem to look a little pale or are those cheeks a little flush? open your mind to miracles we think we may just have the stuff Have you sampled our face cream? it's kinda making my hands bleed pilot test our new product it maybe rots out your tear ducts oh no. Your heart may race, but that’s okay your wife may faint, and that’s just great your blood pressure could go either way if it works or not, we still get paid You gotta stick to the system just ignore your new symptoms you must commit to a year’s worth sell it to friends if your hair hurts email us if you bleed out next of kin gets a discount
4.
Give up and go to sleep? no, I will never surrender the learning curve’s too steep and I won’t go under The morning I foresee a couple missed stops on the train hey if that’s where I catch them winks it’s worth more than I paid No, no it don’t seem strange to be up this time of night ‘cause I don’t seem crazy in the right light I’ve not lost my mind from the word go Now that I’ve got me all to myself It’s going to be a time all wide awake take in everything ever all night Don’t you feel so crazy just skipping out on life? It’s so amazing I’m all mainlined you’re wasting time but I’m impossible? No one’s paying me I’m the provider my service is free I drift through my day but lights out my mind comes alive every night Don’t it seem so strange to be running out of night? Oh no. OK. The sun may rise I won’t close my eyes I won’t go
5.
Kid Hideous 04:03
Where does all the time go? Did you make sure the lid’s closed? Sometimes it finds a way to leak. Keep both of your eyes closed make sure you have got clean clothes the way your mother taught you to Dig yourself a shallow grave assume that you will not be saved six feet down into a pit put your back right into it Take a cognitive shower (Make this man an honest man) every hour on the hour (Make sure there’s just nothing left) don’t want intruders hanging round, no What? Is this happening? Why? Is this happening? Will? This keep happening? How? Is this happening? Hands up, do a little spin, don’t forget you gotta clean up, give a little back, take a mortgage out and spend it, put a little down, ante up to a house with a yard and a ditch and a grave and a Where did all the time go? You had to make sure the lid’s closed already feel us slipping backward. Thank the brutal policemen for kicking your teeth in so no one else would get the chance to Ooh, air is harmful to breathe now (Air is harmful to breathe now) take a deep breath and slow way down (Take a deep, deep breath and slow way down) this is happening, this is happening, this is happening Chew your food to completion (Chew your food!) minimize all of your excretions (Chew all your food!) this is happening, this is happening, this is happening And you die, and you die, and you die, and you die, and you die without flinching, without flinching And you die, and you die, and you die, and you die, and you die without flinching, without flinching, without flinching
6.
7.
You’ve been invited to take holiday forever... tell Grace in Accounting, let Sam in HR know that you’ve gone away Every day there’s an endless buffet and the chef will cook omelettes or different souffles it’s embarrassing, embarrassing, all of the riches You will be graded for your thoughts and all of your feelings... on a merciless curve where you’ll cling to hang on and won’t find a way Don’t get too cozy and act like you own the place maids are complaining that you’re a disgrace you’ve got everything, but you’ve got to live with yourself still
8.
Smock Cannon 07:53

credits

released March 4, 2022

Cocker Spatula is written, performed, recorded, sequenced and mixed by Matt Collander and Philip Bertulfo, and it is mastered by Carl Saff. Cover art by Matt Collander.

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Rubber Spaniel Chicago, Illinois

Rubber Spaniel is Phil Bertulfo and Matt Collander, formerly of Chicago band Percolator, growing songs in a lab. Sounds like indie rock, video game music and industrial noise all smeared together.

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